I recently "stopped" biting my nails. Nail biting has been a twenty year habit for me, and I've discovered it's a bit like alcoholism. My nails are the longest they've ever been (with the exception of one of my thumb nails which I recently destroyed in a moment of weakness), but it's not easy keeping them that way. In the past, people would exclaim, "wow, look at your nails! Don't they hurt?" or "how do you bite them so low?" because they really were terrible. But I didn't really care. People always told me how much of a bad habit it was and all that, but for me it was just who I was, and I couldn't stop myself biting or picking away at my nails. Sure, there were situations that made it worse- boredom, anxiety, stress- but it really was a constant thing.
And now I've stopped. But I don't know why. Or how. A while ago I decided I'd try out wearing glue-on nails, partly because I was going to be a bridesmaid, and partly just out of curiosity. This was fun. It was hard to get used to, but I began to enjoy having long nails. They made my hands look completely different, and I'd find myself just stroking my nails because I liked how they felt. It became quite a challenge though, when the nails came off every now and then and I'd have to quickly glue them back on before I bit off the real nail underneath.
So, this wearing of fake nails helped me begin my quest to stop biting my nails, but I'm not sure why I've been able to keep it up (almost) now that they're all my own nails. I now get people exclaiming, "I love the colour of your nail polish" (because I have to wear nail polish as a deterrent to keep me from regressing into old habits!) or "wow, look how long your pinky nail is!" and those are much more uplifting and affirming comments to be receiving.
But bringing it all back to how it's very similar to being an alcoholic... I have my weak moments. It's hard work breaking a twenty year habit, and while I'm proud of what I've achieved, I could easily fall of the wagon. I still find myself drawn to picking or biting without even realising, and sometimes it's too late and the nail's gone. But, I'm trying. And I'm enjoying having nails. Never thought I would. But I am.
If you see me biting or picking at my nails, please tell me to stop. In the past I wouldn't have liked you saying anything, but now I'd appreciate it. Thanks.
you can do it! :)
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