All of my life, in every season, you are still God. I have a reason to sing. I have a reason to worship.

I just read this and I guess it resonates with things I've been thinking about lately. Too often I think we, as Christians, make a decision or an action in our lives and justify it by saying that this is what God wants us to do, or that it is an answer to prayer or what God has told us. Sure, sometimes it is, but when you suddenly change your mind and go a different direction altogether I begin to wonder how genuine the "call" was in the first place. Anyway, read on... And check out Edge Kingsland's free album if it's still on the Come&Live website. Magical kiwi worship music. Stamping God's Approval By Matt Bancroft "Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'"   Matthew 7:22-23 NIV  I THINK SOMETIMES we as Christians think we have a God stamp and we can go around stamping His name on whatever we want. As if we have the ability to just stamp God's name here or there and force His hand to move in whatever situation. Sometimes we are set in our ways, but out of duty we come before God and ask Him to place His stamp of approval on the decisions we have made. Other times we just do the stamping ourselves and forget God all together. As a body, the Church is almost too eager to place God's stamp of approval on a lot of things He might wish nothing to do with. God uses His stamp on people–and perhaps that is the point. He doesn't stamp a solution to your problem; he stamps you. To me this is much more comforting, to know that God is with me regardless of my circumstances or bad decisions. We weren't stamped, though, so that we could run around proclaiming that we are better than everyone else. That isn't what being a Christian is about and we shouldn't use our God stamp to promote any of it. The idea is to trust God and follow Him wherever He may lead.

Verse of the day

"You have trusted in your wickedness and have said, 'No one sees me.' Your wisdom and knowledge mislead you when you say to yourself, 'I am, and there is none besides me.' "   Isaiah 47:10 TNIV

Busyness

I've blogged about busyness before and how often people respond to the question, "how have you been?" or whatever, with "busy". I came across this article today that delves into the issue and makes some good points. You should read it. And try not to fall into the pride-filled or balanced-life-diminishing trap of busyness. Bless you.

Equal.

I am a horrible person. I'm selfish, I'm lazy, I'm gluttonous, I'm thoughtless, I'm hurtful... I'm fallen, I'm human. We're all fallen, and we're all human. Therefore, no one is any 'better' than anyone else. I love that. We're all equal and we're all loved. No one should feel like they have to live up to someone else's expectations, and no one should look down on anyone else. Instead, be you. Be the person you were created to be. Love, and be loved.

Doubt

"I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"
  Mark 9:24 TNIV


Love that verse. Doubt is healthy.

Two types of people

When it comes to a lot of things, it seems there are two different types of people who exist. Sure, some people probably fit somewhere in the middle, but I think they usually sway more in one direction. I guess we could look at it like a spectrum. Anyway...
When it comes to sickness and injury, there are those who revel in it and there are those who try not to let it affect them. Some people love the attention and sympathy that sickness and injury brings them, so they make sure everyone knows about it, they play it up, and they make it an excuse to not do things... just because they can! On the other hand, there are people who ignore their sickness or injury the best they can and try to get on with life, often to the detriment of their healing and future health! I definitely fit into the second category.
When it comes to responsibility, there are those who blame everything on other people and there are those who take on way too much themselves. Some people think it's not their responsibility to clean up their mess (let alone someone else's! gasp!), and if something goes wrong it's definitely someone else's fault (even if they're the one who didn't put in the effort required to succeed). On the other hand, there are people who take the worries of the world on their shoulders or do so much for others that they either begin to be taken advantage of or they burn out. I think I'm somewhere in the middle here.
There are so many personality trait spectrums, but those are just two examples.
I find personalities and traits fascinating. I love people.

Maintaining Friendships...

I just came across this article about friendships, and think it's great! Some good advice and encouragement. I love friends. You should probably read it too.

Saying what you mean

It happens all the time. Someone says, "let's go out for coffee sometime," or "I'll text you this week," or "I'm planning a trip (insert place name here) in (insert time here), you should come too." But do they always mean it? Honestly, no. I'm sure I do it too, although I really have tried not to, because I know how disappointing it can be to find out they didn't mean in. I've found myself in foreign places at certain times because others said they'd be there at the same time I did... but apparently I was the only one that meant it. Then there are those who are always like, "come over for dinner," so I say, "love to, let me know what day works for you," and then never hear anything about it until the next time they say, "come over for dinner." One day maybe that dinner will happen!
I think it'd be much easier on the emotions and plans of others if we all only said these things if we genuinely mean them. Do you agree?

Double Whammy

Just a little extra something encouraging for you tonight... (please excuse the American spelling... can't be bothered fixing it. Haha.)

The Savior Self

By Michael Warden

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"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."
Matthew 11:28 TNIV

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SOMETIMES THE DAYS become war. They blindside us with unrelenting blows from the mundane corners of everyday life. There is too much to do, too many fronts to defend, too many fires to put out. So what deceives us into traveling the days as though we have strength enough to be the savior of our own lives? Do we conclude (quietly, secretly, where even our own thoughts can barely hear) that since God is doing nothing, then we must somehow make a way for ourselves?

Too often, we miss Jesus. Striving the way we do always makes the distance between us and Him ache with inconsolable longing. But the damnable part of that is that it doesn’t have to be so! He is there with us; He remains still. Patient. Waiting. Being God.

Of the pressures and distractions and decisions we must face each day, there is (it seems) no end. But there is only one decision that truly matters. And that is the decision to cling close to Jesus, to hang trembling to his garments, whatever battle-lines form against us at our backs. Choosing not to fight in our own strength. But to believe, and to rest.

Critic's math

I recently read a Jon Acuff blog about Critic's math, where someone receiving feedback from others can't help but apply the following formula:
1 insult + 1,000 compliments = 1 insult.
The insult is the thing that sticks and often overrides a multiple of compliments even if you don't want it to.
I was thinking, this can apply to other areas in life, but with some possible variation, and I think it can be built on further. For example, if we are hurt by someone, often that hurt is what the mind dwells upon despite all the good times and kind words. However, I also find that, with time, these hurts are forgotten to varying degrees and it is the good memories that remain. I guess that's the beauty of forgiveness and reconciliation. While we need to forgive, we do also need to learn from these situations, though, and not just let ourselves drift back into them again.
Another example has happened to me when I've been travelling. Sometimes tricky things happen to me when I'm in some foreign country, and there's just no option of going home to the familiar and safe. Whether it's being told my booking wasn't processed properly and so I may be out on the street for the night, or I'm in a strange town where no one speaks English and I need to find some transport but no one can tell me where or when to find any! In these moments I just want to give it all up and go home. In these moments I wonder what I'm doing, why I'm here, and maybe I just want to cry. Looking back on travels, though, these are not the moments that stand out, but it's all the good times that take over my memory.
Is this the same as the critic's math... does the equation or the power of the equation change with time?

Lonely, but not rejected.

I love it when you read something that captures many of your thoughts in words. This article contains some stuff I've been thinking about and talking about lately, and you should read it, especially if you're single. It may not be exactly how I would've worded things or angled the topic, but it has some good thoughts in it.

Momentous occassions!

Two significant and momentous things occurred in my life today... it snowed at my house, and I watched the BBC's Pride and Prejudice for the first time. All 6 hours of it. Noone I know- even those who have lived in the area for years and years- have seen snow in Korokoro. So that was exciting! And not only did it snow here, but it snowed down in the Hutt Valley. Craziness! Only once in my life have I experienced snow at my own house, and that was when I lived with my parents in Normandale- a lot further above sea level! And even that was considered a bit of freak weather. Snow on the mountain is fun... but the fun level is increased a hundred-fold when it's at your own house!
I love Jane Austen, and don't know why I've never actually watched the BBC series of Pride and Prejudice before! Many people were shocked I hadn't seen it before now. Of course, I loved it. Gah. The scene near the end when Elizabeth is talking to her dad in his office even brought a tear! It would be so weird if people actually talked like that now. I can't imagine it! Beautiful.

In other significant news... on Friday night we had our big fashion show that we've been planning for months- Shabby Chic. It was all clothes from the Salvation Army Family Store, being modelled by a wide variety of women, of various ages, shapes and sizes, and it was a huge success! Being out the back dressing all the models and all of that, I didn't actually get to see much of the show itself, but from all the positive comments we received, I am assured that it was a thoroughly enjoyable evening! I even got to have my hair and make-up done, which is always fun! The whole idea behind the show was "joy, transformation and beauty," and was based on Isaiah 61:3. We had a fabulous team working together on the event, and all $4100 that we raised is going towards the Community Ministries at our church.

There are lots of positives going on in my life at the moment, and I am unbelievably thankful for that. Life is good. God is great.
Even this morning at church we were reminded to put God first in our finances, interests, relationships, schedules and troubles, which is something I've been thinking about lately. Especially about turning to God first before relying on other people or other things to fix stuff or make us happy. Love his timing.

Dreams

I have been challenged this week, by several influential people in my life, about what my dreams are for the future. Now that I've completed my degree and am in this period of limbo leading into transition, this is something I get asked a lot. The problem is, I don't have an answer to this question. As I've been thinking about it, I've realised that the only real dream I've had for a while now is to be a parent and a foster parent. I don't have a career dream. However, for several reasons, this would be very difficult on my own. Then, this lack of husband situation leads to a couple of other things:
- I have endometriosis and I am 27 years old. The chances of getting pregnant beyond the age of 27 for someone with endometriosis are somewhat slim. I find myself bawling my eyes out just as I type this fact. I know that anything is possible with God, but still the medical science factor weighs on my mind.
- This leads into the idea of God having a plan for our lives versus God blessing and honouring our dreams. I know he's in control. But not knowing what the purpose of these dreams are if they only cause me distress the longer they go unfulfilled is tough.
- Then there's the fact that everyone around me is married, in a relationship, or heading that way, and this only makes me feel worse about myself. Of course I'm happy for them, and love knowing that they're happy. But I'd also like a tiny bit of that happiness for myself for a change. I know that I'm not alone in feeling like this, but for a long time I was happy doing my own thing and enjoying independent life, so now I fully understand what it's like to be on the other side of the coin. It's shit.
Everyday I turn my anxieties, dreams and insecurities over to God. And I trust him with my future. I really do. I'd just love a little reassurance that I have these dreams for a reason, and that my life in this current state of limbo really does have some purpose.

Dirty Feet

Wow. <-This resonates with me.

Romans 12

I just read this chapter and, man, it relates to several different areas of my life at the moment. Powerful stuff to remember and apply...

New International Version (NIV)

Romans 12

A Living Sacrifice

 ¹ Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. ² Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Humble Service in the Body of Christ

 ³ For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. ⁴ For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, ⁵ so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. ⁶ We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your^[a] faith; ⁷ if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; ⁸ if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead,^[b]do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.

Love in Action

 ⁹ Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. ¹⁰ Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. ¹¹ Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. ¹² Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. ¹³Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. ¹⁴ Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. ¹⁵ Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. ¹⁶ Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.^[c] Do not be conceited.
 ¹⁷ Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. ¹⁸If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. ¹⁹ Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”^[d] says the Lord. ²⁰ On the contrary:
   “If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
   if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”^[e]
 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

As You Wait

Just because I like to share things I've read that might be an encouragement to others...

As You Wait 

By Brian Orme

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"I wait for the LORD, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope."
 Psalm 130:5 TNIV

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AT TIMES, JESUS WAS worn out by life's demands. Jesus seems to remind us, in the way that He lived, that sometimes saying "no" to good things is necessary in order to tend to the needs of the heart. Jesus offers us a model for renewal. In the final hours of His life, He was in the garden pleading with the Father, waiting on the Father to answer. In the garden, Jesus received the insurgence of the Father's strength needed to guide Him through the last tumultuous hours of His pre-resurrection life.

In essence, true spiritual renewal arrives when we become boldly aware of our own weakness. The exposure is painful, but in these moments we are closer to God than we could know. When we wait on God, we develop an expectant faith, pregnant with hope.

Finding the rhythm and grace in this sacred effort of waiting teaches us to renew our hearts through divine resources instead of conjuring up some pseudo-strength of our own.

Waiting goes against our natural instincts. But when we stop and wait for God to renew us, we receive what only God can give: a fresh expression of faith and a new passion for life.

Anne Jackson

I don't know her. But I like her honesty and how genuine she is. This is her latest blog post... The Slow and Inefficient Work of God (Part 2). I love it how you read about things around the same time you're thinking on the same topic, and they help you confirm your thinking. I'm also loving blogging at the end of the day at the moment, because it's a way of processing things and helping me get things out or realign my thinking before I go to sleep. I've recently struggled pretty badly with depression and anxiety (that's a whole other story that I'll get to another day!!), and it felt like there was absolutely no way out. There were small glimmers of hope that quickly fizzled out. When I even acknowledged God's presence, I was just crying out to him to help me stop feeling like that, and dwelling on all the bad stuff that was going on. Recently I've turned a bit of a corner, have made an attitude change, and feel like I'm on the up, but it's a very slow process that threatens to backslide at any moment. The last bit of Anne Jackson's most recent blog post really resonated with me and this topic as I read it tonight, and these are her words:

I thought about my heart. It’s crag-like and rough. If you were to walk on it, there are sharp edges that would cut your feet. I want God to change my heart. Now. I want him to take away my impatience, my entitlement to not feel lonely sometimes, the way I can impose on others. Take it away, God. Now?

He gently says no as one, single wave of his grace washes over.

And then another.

And then another.

I could move my heart farther from the ocean and let it live untouched and unbothered by this seemingly unproductive task. I could build a dam around it and not let the waters in. Or I could simply sit and let the waters of grace slowly, moment by moment, smooth my heart out.

"Because I am not getting what I deserve from God, I have the power to release others from what they deserve. I'm able to give them what God has given me—love, acceptance and grace." -- Ed Young

Heart friends.

Once again, Jon Acuff has hit the nail on the head. Oh, how I'm loving these little sayings today! Haha. Anyway, in this post he talks about some things I've been thinking about a lot lately, about investing in relationships, opening up to people, and about how many true heart friends we have. The blog post itself as well as the comments below, make for a good, thought-provoking read!

Actions speak louder than words.

Actions speak louder than words. They really do. I know that some people love me more than some of those few that regularly tell me, because of their actions. Hearing the words is nice, but they don't prove that it's true. The proof is in the pudding. Haha, just wanted to use that saying, because I never have before!
C. S. Lewis talks about the idea of love as a feeling versus love as an action in his book Mere Christianity, and one of the major points he makes is that feelings come and go. In a recent article by Debra Fileta, she uses the phrase, "Love was never just intended to be, it was intended to do."Like the DC Talk Song, 'Love is a Verb'. She goes on to say that "frankly, it's the hardest verb you will ever do. It's a verb that requires a selflessness and altruism beyond any other experience on earth. It's a verb that is not always felt but must always be chosen. It is a commitment to do what is right, even though the one standing before you may be entirely undeserving."
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered; it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Love never fails. (1Corinthians 13:4-8)
I used to have those verses written on a piece of bubble wrap on my bedroom wall. Perhaps it needs to go back up there. So important to remember these things, in relationships with everyone!

Meanwhile, on a completely unrelated topic... I've been looking into the possibility of teaching English, maybe in South Korea, for a year or so in the near future. Not entirely set on the idea yet, but am considering it. There are just so many options out there! There are also a few weddings I'd love to be able to attend in the Northern Hemisphere next May-ish! But how to make it happen? Dreaming, praying, thinking and researching...

I'm working on it...

Working on a few things at the moment:
- Not relying on other people to make me feel any kind of self-worth. I never knew how much it could affect me when people don't reciprocate the efforts I put into relationships. It's like being rejected, and it feels horrible. So either I let these instances make me feel like crap every time they happen, or I carry on making the effort on my part and try not to be too disappointed when nothing comes back the other way, or I simply make less effort because then I'm less likely to get hurt. And whatever I choose at the time, at least I'm making that decision knowing that God gives me the worth that matters, that he cares what's going on for me and that he will never let me down like humans so often do!
- Related to this is the idea of adjusting my attitude, so that even when I'm down or discouraged I can see a way out. I'm trying to focus on what really matters rather than dwelling on things that are only going to make me feel worse. I've recently become rather cynical and negative about so many things, but I need to try and turn those around and get back to the real me who is so much more positive and optimistic.
- Living in the moment. I remember a guest lecturer in one of my courses this semester making the point that if you're really present in a moment then anxiety cannot exist. Neither can anger. Because you're focused on the here and now. So, that may not be entirely practical or possible, but I can definitely see some value in what he was saying.
- Making more time for God. I know this is a cliche goal, but I also know it has to happen. I have been shocking lately, but whenever I do make the time, I am so glad I have and always vow to do it more. Chatting with him throughout the day, involving him in all of life and sometimes just sitting in his presence make a big difference to how I act, cope, respond, think and feel. So why would I not want those improvements in my life?

Now comes the big task of deciding what to do with my near future... ugh. There are so many options! But at least I'll be in a bit of a better state of mind once I start sorting some of those things out. It's exciting, and it's scary. Bring it on.

Just saw this on Twitter. Sometimes I have to give myself this advice... but it makes me sad...
"If someone is not responding to you, then stop worrying about them. The people who want to be in your life make the time."

Aging Friends

I've been thinking lately about how much harder it is to make friends and grow friendships, the older you get. This is the case in my experience anyway. In fact, it seems to be even harder when it's people around your own age that you're befriending. I'm usually quite happy to spend time with people somewhat older or younger than me, whether I know them well or not, and can even carry pretty good conversations with them. But when it comes to people around my age, I almost find them intimidating or something. I don't know whether I feel as if I'd like them to be my friend more than I would if they were older or younger and so I want to impress them while not seeming too desperate, whether I feel as though they may already have enough friends without adding me to the mix, or whether I feel like they're judging me.  It's a strange thing, and maybe it's just me over-analysing things like usual.
And then there's the whole 'busy' thing. Why is everyone always too busy to hang out? What are they doing that's making them so busy, if they're not spending time with people? People need to spend more time with people and invest in them, whether those people are beneficial to their image or their status, or not. I'm absolutely talking about myself here, too. It's not about what we can personally gain in friendships. Who knows, maybe these people just don't want to hang out with me...?
Really, when it comes down to it, I'm not very socially adept or becoming at the best of times, so this is probably just a lifelong phenomenon for me.
Gah, this turned into what appears to be self-pity. I knew I was running that risk but thought I could avoid it. Sure, I struggle with that stuff, even as I get older (it's so not just a High School thing!), but that's not where my thinking for this post was going. It was just meant to be an observation...

Future

At the moment, I have absolutely no idea what my future will hold. I'm about to finally finish my degree, and I'm sensing some big changes to come. In fact, I'm fairly sure that big changes need to happen if I'm to escape the negativity that ever seems ready to pounce and consume. I'm reasonably anxious about what may come, but am trusting that the right opportunities will eventuate, and at the same time I'm excited about what adventures will ensue!
Ever grateful for prayers.

Tumblr

So, I have a Tumblr now... but am not really into using it yet. I don't really get it. Haha. It's hard to find people you know. For the moment, I'm going to keep using this blog probably mostly for emotional rants or something, and focus on short snippets and pictures and stuff with my Tumblr.
For some reason, I have real issues typing the word Tumblr. Always miss out the m.
This is a pointless post. Oh well.

I wish I could say that I've felt really supported and cared for by my friends through the recent loss of my grandmother who I was quite close with. But the truth is, aside from one or two close friends, most of the care and support I've received has come from people who are not the closest to me. At times like this, for me, it's really important just to be able to talk... not even about how I'm feeling... but just to talk, in general. I'm very thankful for a good chat with my best friend just about life, for dinner invitations and general conversation, for parents with whom I can talk for ages, and for those people who have expressed sympathy and who have shown that they care by asking questions and listening. People surprise me.

Love.

A Donald Miller excerpt again... And on a side note, he has a girlfriend now. Sad. Missed out there. Haha.

"The need that we call love is not a perfect metaphor for God. It’s a drawing of a tree to describe a tree. That said, though, I think God more than likes us, I think he created us in such a way that he needed us to fulfill him, and I refuse to see this as weakness. Interdependence is strength, as is the insatiable desire to connect, to listen, to exchange and even to touch. There is a growing part of me that believes when we get to heaven, we will be reunited with the one we need, and the one who needs us in return. And this will be by design."

My verse of the day.

The aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.
 I Timothy 1:5 ESV  

The fear of being ordinary and life happens while you're doing something else

In case you hadn't noticed, I like to share things I've read that I think others might like to read. So here are 2 such things...

The Fear of Being Ordinary

By Andrew Schwab

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The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.
   1 Samuel 16:7 NIV

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WHY DO WE all want to be such a big deal? Because there is nothing worse than being ordinary, right? But you had better believe this is a lie, and a big one.

Because there are more than a few holes in this philosophy. The recognition we seek will only lead to our destruction when we make it our treasure. Fame leads to pride. Success leads to more temptation. Glory leads to corruption. It seems to me like we weren't made for these things, that we were constructed to find peace in something else.

Didn't someone we know tell us that meaning is found in exactly the opposite approach? Doesn't the Bible tell us that God chose the things that are not to shame the things that are? Doesn't it say that God is with the lowly things, the have-nots? Doesn't it say over and over again that meaning is found in service, and that true peace is found in taking a backseat to those you love?

Consider this: Meaning is not found in the acceptance of other people. Your value is not based on opinion. You have value, really and truly, because of who you are in God, not because of who knows you. 

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Even in your most "humble" and "good" intentions, you can have motivations for fame. Closely examine your career, activities and relationships for signs of self-glorification. How can you correct this mindset? 








Life happens while you're doing something else.
By Don Miller

Just yesterday my girl Paige and I were doing some grocery shopping and started talking about how much of life is lived to maintain life itself, that is we farm (or shop) to eat, we make (or buy) clothes, we monitor our bodies and employ them to rest and to exercise, all to farm and make clothes.

After thinking about this idea more, I meshed it in my mind to the story of the Tower of Babel and how God destroyed a cultures attempts to reach God, a luxurious and ridiculous effort born from the modernization of the culture, the existence of a slave culture, no doubt, and a lot of free time.

The narrative of that account combined with the amount of time it takes our God-designed bodies and minds to simply sustain our temporary existence leads me to some comforting facts:

1. God is not interested in using you to build anything that might be used to replace him or give you the false sense you can interact with him without giving him all agency.

2. What God wants us to do here on earth is something we can do while doing something else.

And so I’m learning that the stuff that God wants us to do happens while we are shopping for food and making clothes and walking the dog and clearing the table to do the dishes.

In my opinion, the stuff of life is about this, then:

1. Loving each other, and learning to do so as unconditionally as possible, which will also require a leaning on God.

2. Forgiving each other, and leaning on God to do so.

3. Providing for each other and working together for the good of those we love.

4. Giving our lives to God in the sense we must learn not to grapple for control.

I don’t believe God is helping you build a Tower of Babel, be that your career or your church or your perfect family. But I do believe God wants to help you love, forgive, be patient, provide for those you love and give him control of your life.

What gets built with God’s help, then, is less tangible. The Kingdom of God, at least on earth in our time, is perhaps a relational construct.

What do you think God is helping you do? And what do you think people believe God is doing that you aren’t so sure he’s involved?

We are relational beings

Just borrowed the excerpt below from Donald Miller. I'm sure he won't mind. The ideas of being a relational being have been on my mind a lot lately, both when experiencing loneliness and all the negative feelings that come with that, and when experiencing the joys of relationship.
It may not make much sense out of context, but oh well...

1. That we are relational, that we have no identity outside relationships. This is why a sunset is more beautiful when it’s shared.

2. That we are designed to be in relationship with each other, but that we are also to be in relationship with God. And we have a promise we will be at some point in the future.

3. That propositional theology reducing the relational dynamics of the gospel are hogwash. They are born out of a desire to control and understand rather than a desire to relate.

4. That God has all the agency with which to complete us, and we have none.

5. That our faith should not be lived or understood in independence.

Distraction

People are too easily distracted. With all this modern technology or whatever you might choose to blame, we find it hard to give something our full attention. Often times that's ok: we're a multi-tasking generation. But when it comes to people, make sure they feel like you're paying attention to them.

Hawaii

When people, from outside the USA, are going to Hawaii, they never say, "I'm going to America," but always "I'm going to Hawaii." Sometimes I wonder if they know it's one of the 50 states (and yes, there are 50 states. I was right on that quiz night when people tried to argue with me. Shame. Haha.).

Current annoyances... (Sometimes these lists just have to be made, I'm sorry)

-When people don't reply to text messages, emails, whatever.
-When you're talking to someone but they're distracted or just drift off.
-When people leave dishes on the bench with teabags or other rubbish or food on/in them.
-When people drive badly.
-When people say they're going to do something and then don't.
-When people run other people down (not physically, like with a car, but with their words).
-When I'm just enjoying life and then start thinking about how much uni work I could be doing at that moment and it makes me feel sick to the stomach.
-When I'm really tired and yet I don't go to bed. Or I do, but then I can't sleep. Ugh.
-When I suck at being sociable.
-When people ask me what I'm going to do for the second half of the year, or next year.
-When parents make life extra difficult for their kids and I have to watch it happen.
-When Australians are commentating netball games I want to watch.
-When people have the TV on all day, just watching whatever's on, for the sake of it.

OK, so maybe annoyance isn't the right word to cover all of those things, but you get the idea. Who knows... maybe one day I'll write a list of all the good/great/fabulous things in my life. Like spending all afternoon at the beach on Friday with 2 special kids, throwing rocks, taking pictures and enjoying the sunshine... or getting to celebrate my nana's 90th birthday today with family and friends... Yeah, maybe one day I'll write a blog about that.

Hi, I'm Natalie, and I'm a nail-biter

I recently "stopped" biting my nails. Nail biting has been a twenty year habit for me, and I've discovered it's a bit like alcoholism. My nails are the longest they've ever been (with the exception of one of my thumb nails which I recently destroyed in a moment of weakness), but it's not easy keeping them that way. In the past, people would exclaim, "wow, look at your nails! Don't they hurt?" or "how do you bite them so low?" because they really were terrible. But I didn't really care. People always told me how much of a bad habit it was and all that, but for me it was just who I was, and I couldn't stop myself biting or picking away at my nails. Sure, there were situations that made it worse- boredom, anxiety, stress- but it really was a constant thing.
And now I've stopped. But I don't know why. Or how. A while ago I decided I'd try out wearing glue-on nails, partly because I was going to be a bridesmaid, and partly just out of curiosity. This was fun. It was hard to get used to, but I began to enjoy having long nails. They made my hands look completely different, and I'd find myself just stroking my nails because I liked how they felt. It became quite a challenge though, when the nails came off every now and then and I'd have to quickly glue them back on before I bit off the real nail underneath.
So, this wearing of fake nails helped me begin my quest to stop biting my nails, but I'm not sure why I've been able to keep it up (almost) now that they're all my own nails. I now get people exclaiming, "I love the colour of your nail polish" (because I have to wear nail polish as a deterrent to keep me from regressing into old habits!) or "wow, look how long your pinky nail is!" and those are much more uplifting and affirming comments to be receiving.
But bringing it all back to how it's very similar to being an alcoholic... I have my weak moments. It's hard work breaking a twenty year habit, and while I'm proud of what I've achieved, I could easily fall of the wagon. I still find myself drawn to picking or biting without even realising, and sometimes it's too late and the nail's gone. But, I'm trying. And I'm enjoying having nails. Never thought I would. But I am.
If you see me biting or picking at my nails, please tell me to stop. In the past I wouldn't have liked you saying anything, but now I'd appreciate it. Thanks.

So important to remember...

Grace Conquers Bitterness

By Andrew Schwab

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Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment.
   James 2:12-13 NIV

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ONCE WE BEGIN looking to other humans to meet our needs for security, peace, wholeness and repair we will inevitably be let down. Broken people cannot mend broken people.

Knowing this is the first step to having grace for others.

Grace for other humans is the key to healing from our wounds, as well. It realigns our priorities, and puts people back in the proper place in our hearts. When we realize that humans  are not our providers, healers, or redeemers, then we are freed from much of our pain. The sting of hurt is disarmed. This is why grace for others is so important--it exists not only for the one receiving, but for the one giving.

Accept that humans are just that—human. Accept that the church is flawed. And resist the urge to ever place people in higher regard than they deserve. In this, you will find empathy for the mistakes of others—others who are trying to find their way in this fallen world, just like you.

Vulnerability

I'm not very good at opening myself up and being vulnerable.
I'd like to be better at it.

I try.

I really do.
And yet it takes more than just effort from me.
Sometimes I can only give so much.
But I guess I'll just keep on keeping on.
Because you're important to me.

On another note, fakeness and approval seeking... ugh.

I hate writing cryptic emo blog posts. But sometimes it's just gotta be done.
Deal.

Identity

In this post, I'm sharing a snippet of Jon Acuff's latest blog post. I guess it's talking about something that I've definitely experienced before, but had never really thought about in this way, so it stood out and made some ideas fall into place for me. Enjoy...
“The problem is that we all start off with an identity. It’s who we are and who God made us to be. Then we have some small degree of success and we add that to our identity. That success becomes our identity. So now, when we try something new, we’re not just afraid to fail, we’re afraid to lose our identity. That’s what’s terrifying. That’s why people are afraid to take risks or try new things. It’s not just failure at stake, we think we’re going to lose our identity and that’s overwhelming.”


In other news, I'm composing blog posts in my mind all the time at the moment, but never getting to actually type them out. If only technology had advanced as far as being able to transfer my thoughts into typed words!

Happy St. Patricks Day, by Donald Miller

Saint Patrick, for whom todays Catholic holiday is named, was not born Irish. His parents were Romano-British and deacons at the local church. At sixteen Patrick was kidnapped by Irish raiders and taken to Ireland as a slave. He escaped his captives, snuck aboard a ship and made his way back to Britain. When he returned to Britain he studied to be a priest, after which he decided to return to Ireland to preach the gospel to what was then a polytheistic culture.

Saint Patrick was said to have used the shamrock to explain to the Irish people the doctrine of the Trinity. He spent thirty more years in Ireland and died on the 17th of March, 461. He is considered the principal missionary from Rome to the Irish and is celebrated as such on this day.

Today Saint Patricks day is celebrated around the world as a sort of tribute to the Irish and the culture of Ireland, a relatively small Island with a storied past and perhaps more storied characters within. It is, of course, widely known for its association with the drinking of beer. Saint Patricks day is the day in which the most alcohol is consumed by Americans. You can just see Saint Patrick now, can’t you, wandering into an American bar well after midnight, laying down on the floor next to a passed out college student, pointing at the paper shamrocks stapled to the ceiling, and explaining how much the Father loves the Son, and the Son loves the Father, and how the Holy Ghost is with us always, even on the floor of a pub.

Perspective.

"What we do with the thousands of opportunities around us resides in our hands. Looking at the world through Gods’ perspective starts with using the peace, faith, patience, love, grace, humbleness and mercy with which He empowers us. When one starts living life with the big picture perspective, life will never appear the same." 


This is a little quote I just read. Went to mention who wrote it, but they apparently didn't attach their name to their writing. Oh well. Perspective is something I've had to examine quite a bit lately, as I consider life, trials, and joys. Sometimes we need a bit of a reality check, and perspective is often key to this. I think.

Success and value

It's so easy to get caught up feeling like you should do something because it's what other people expect you to do, or to want to succeed so that you don't let others down. Sometimes thinking like this can help us strive to do our best, because we feel held accountable, but other times it's just not healthy. I'm so very thankful that I've had so many people in my life that have been willing to support me no matter what decisions I make. Even when my decisions lead to failure, they're just waiting to support me in what I choose to do next. I have been tempted, and given in, on many occasions, by what other people think I should do, or what they think would be best for me. People all the time just assume what I will go onto next in life, or make judgements about my choices, but I have got so much better at brushing hurtful things off, and thinking of them as like sandpaper that helps smooth and refine me into a better being. So, I am thankful for the critics as well. I chose to work and travel right after school, rather than going to university, like many people expected me to. I went to university (and have almost finished a degree!) in my own time, switched degrees, put it on hold to travel some more, transferred universities, worked for over 6 years in a job that people think is below me and my potential status or pay packet purely because I love it and I love the difference I am able to make in people's lives through it, and all that kind of stuff, and am so very glad that I went about things exactly the way that I did. I've learnt lessons and had experiences that never would've happened otherwise.
Value is something else we all struggle with every now and then, I think. Feeling valued and appreciated does so much for a person, so long as their motivations are coming from the right places. It's important not to do things or make decisions purely to get people to like you or to make yourself feel cooler. People are always going to let you down and make you feel unwanted. They're human beings, it's in their nature. How many Facebook friends you have doesn't say anything about how much you're really valued! True value and love comes from God. We should be striving to love people and make them feel valued and loved, because they are just as much God's children as we are.
I'm speaking to myself here. And I have no idea where any of this came from. I wasn't even planning on writing a blog post, and yet here it is.

Must read- Doubt and Faith.

As soon as I read this, I knew I had to share it. So many people could be encouraged by it as I am. Think it's something I need to read every now and then to make me rethink and assess things.
Read article here. (pages 84-87).
Let me know what you think.
In other news, I started back at uni today. Suddenly things have got crazy. Working 2 part-time jobs, studying full time at university as well taking a photography course and sign language course outside of uni, watching as many netball games as possible and then still trying to have time for friends, family, church stuff and relaxation... it's a challenge. But, I'm the one who gets myself into these situations, so I'm not complaining. Jesus, be the centre.

I wish I had more time and inspiration to write blog posts...

But for now, I'm just going to continue to borrow things written by other people.
The last bit may make you cry. Just saying.

"There comes a time when you can only run so far from Love. And then, he catches you. Love is not what you think. But Love is the greatest mystery known to man, the most unstoppable force. God is Love. He is the love for which the world looks. We look for Him in a thousand ways, in a thousand places! He is not a feeling, or a philosophy, or an idea. He is the only one who matters.
We must pursue Him, because He has pursued us. He chases us in the darkest times, in the silence. We wonder what Love is, but there He stands. His love does not change, His love does not stop. In our most unworthy times, He is there—with His undying, unconditional acceptance—reckless, even." -- Karissa Sechrist

University etc

So, I'm rather stressed about uni at the moment, just because they're messing me around and making it difficult for me to choose the very last paper/course I need to complete my degree this semester. Just one more! It's a bit of a long story, but I'd totally appreciate some prayers, and I hope it's sorted soon so I can get it off my mind!
In the meantime, here's a cool little thing I just read...
Tomorrow is a new day, a fresh start, ripe with possibility. Smog and particulates conceal celestial glory, but the right evening provides unparalleled clarity. Take a breath. Make a wish. Dream. Hope without ceasing. -- Austin C. Bonds.

Cool thought

The Church, configured to reveal God's salvation to the world, consists of broken and transparent people. They know that Jesus forgave people after they came to Him (or were brought to Him). If they are limping, tapping a white cane, wearing rags, have alcohol on their breath or are dressed provocatively, they will be welcomed and accepted as members of a loving, dysfunctional family. Let the Lord tell them what and how they need to clean up.
By Chuck Smith Junior.

Turn your eyes...

Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full in his wonderful face
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of his glory and grace.

Songs

I love Genius playlists. I don't love when the little message comes up saying "Genius is unavailable for the selected song." I love that I live within walking distance of the beach. I love when songs come up in your Genius playlist that are just what you need to hear at the time.
Tonight I went for a walk to the beach and listened to my ipod on the way. The walk back up the hill is always pretty tough, but it also makes for an accomplished feeling. Last time I walked this particular bush track I was treated to an excellent Genius playlist based on some Mumford and Sons song. But I digress...  lots of cool songs came on throughout my walk tonight, and I thought I'd share a couple of particularly enjoyable or timely ones with you just now.

By Your Side, by Tenth Avenue North

Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life

Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go

Washed By The Water, by Needtobreathe 

Even when the rain falls
Even when the flood starts rising
Even when the storm comes
I am washed by the water

Daddy was a preacher
She was his wife
Just tryin to make the world a little better
You know, shine a light
People started talking
Trying to hear their own voice
Those people tried to accuse my father
Said he made the wrong choice
Though it might be painful
You know that time will always tell
Those people have long since gone
My father never failed

Even if the Earth crumbles under my feet
Even if the ones I love turn around and crucify me
I won’t never ever let you down
I won’t fall
I won’t fall
I won’t fall as long as you’re around me

Hope Now, by Addison Road 

If everything comes down to love
Then just what am I afraid of
When I call out Your name
Something inside awakes in my soul
How quickly I forget I'm Yours

I'm not my own
I've been carried by You
All my life

Everything rides on hope now
Everything rides on faith somehow
When the world has broken me down
Your love sets me free

When my life is like a storm
Rising waters all I want is the shore
You say I'll be ok
Make it through the rain
You are my shelter my from the storm

You've become my heart's desires
I will sing Your praises higher
Your love sets me free

Just another snippet I stole from someone else's blog.

"No culture in history has been more distracted. If you are wondering why there are no more C.S. Lewis’ in the world, no more stories as good as Tolkien’s, no cathedrals as great as the gothic’s, no music as moving as Pachelbel’s, it may be because the writers of these books, the tellers of these stories, the architects of these buildings and the composers of these symphonies are sitting on their couches watching television. I wonder what’s on tonight." -Donald Miller